Endless Dreams

I ran, as fast as I could, from something I couldn’t fathom. I pushed my way through the crowd, knowing nothing of where I was or even where I was going. Tears drenched my face and continued to cloud my already distorted vision. Though I could sense the tumult around me, I could hear nothing, feel nothing – only the concrete strip ahead of me, endlessly stretching into oblivion.

I wiped the moisture from my eyes, still running, scarcely breathing. As I looked up after blinking back another onslaught of tears, he was the only thing I saw. The path I ran shrunk, and became just the ordinary path I had walked on every single day. It was no longer an unknown oblivion, and he was at the end of it, arms outstretched and welcoming. I ran into them, and grasped him tightly around the waist, afraid that he’d disappear. Different tears began to fall, and he stroked my hair, muttering soothing words, letting me cry to my heart’s content. When the tears came slower, he stayed his hand and everything went still. He cupped my chin, pulling my face up to look at him. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His eyes told me that he was here, that he would always be. They told me that no matter what the situation, he’d never desert me, that he’d be my safe haven when all else failed.
As swiftly as he had appeared, he was yanked out of my arms and everything went dark.

                                                                       -

I awoke with a gasp. I was back in the darkness of my room – cozy comforter, warm pillows. I pulled the earbuds out of my ears, and laid back heavily against my pillows once more. I heaved an exhausted sigh. It was a dream. Only a dream. How lovely it had been to see him again. The person who filled my memories with everything I held dear. If every night I could dream of him, I wish I could sleep forever.

The Letter

The Letter

I walked in my attic one day

Finding a old letter tucked in the corner

Inside deep feelings it tend to convey

Encased by a aged envelope

Slowly I pulled a letter out

The sides were creased

It was fragile throughout

And then I slowly opened it

A smile spread in my face

As memories rushed through my mind

That old letter that was encased

By a aged envelope

unreachable ☆

I walked slowly down the marble pavement aimlessly. I let out a soft sigh, as I looked down and watched my feet move to somewhere I myself don’t know. To think that I’m alone could feel quite lonely, but I felt more relieved. Too much thoughts and emotions raged through me, making me more confused.

I needed to think. I needed to sort things out.

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked myself softly. I looked at the supposed star filled sky whose light is blocked by the blinding city lights around me.

I bit my lip, recalling the rush of emotions when I looked him at the eye. Why did it seem like time stopped? Why did my heart skip a beat? Why did I even feel that way? Why? Questions swirled through my mind, yet found no answer.

Then it hit me.

“I can’t possibly…”

We are friends. Close.

I know him like the back of my palm and vice versa. It complete comfortable atmosphere around him: I could do the most embarrassing things and he’ll just laugh and joke around, I could call him during a difficult time and he’ll be there…

Yet somehow, his words, smile, soft touches and companionship meant a little more each day. So much so it seemed unbearable not to see him just for a day. He became a drug.

But why?

A crooked smile played in my face. Realization dawned to me.

I like him.

It was plain, simple and obvious. Don’t all princesses feel this towards that person the love? Don’t all romance pocket books try to convey this feeling into words yet still remain indescribable?

But it can’t be. I can’t. I just can’t.

“Hey!” I heard his voice called out, causing me to snap out of my world of thoughts. I looked around the sea of people, somewhat confused.

Damn, I’m getting crazy, now I’m hearing his voice. Snap out of—

“Hey!” The same voice called out, now much closer, softer and I felt a hand lay on my shoulder.

I felt my whole body stiffen as a familiar scent filled my senses. I blinked, not knowing what to do.

“You okay?” He asked.

Quickly I turned around to face him and smiled, “Of course you silly goose.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked me.

“Oh just walking around, probably get dinner somewhere.”

“Then just join us for dinner!” Another voice piped up behind him. Then a warm hug was given to me wholeheartedly.

My eyes widened as I forced a smile in my face. Jealousy crept inside me like an ugly beast, swallowing me whole. I clenched my fist to control it, yet it seemed impossible. Though these ugly desires swell inside of me, I can’t hate her.

She’s also a close friend of mine. She was the one who comes up to me every lunch and doesn’t fail to ask, “Hey, do you want some?” or who accompanies me to some mall shopping. She’s the one who I could trust, someone who is there to listen.

She was nice, carefree, honest…just like him.

They both complete each other.

When she let go, a worried expression is pasted in her face, “Hey, you okay? You look a little pale.”

“Ah, no.” I quickly said, “I’m probably hungry or something.”

He laughed, “Whatever, she probably choked you.”

“Hey! That’s rude. He’s lying right?”

“Whatever, you left a mark on him.”

I bit my lip, trying to suck in their usual chatter. Cute…yeah, whatever.

“Okay guys, no fighting in front of me.” I faked another smile. Looks like I’m getting better at it every day, “I’m seriously hungry.”

“See, I won!” She clapped, as she stepped up ahead of us, “Let’s go find a nice place shall we?”

He stepped up ahead of me too, right by her side and looked back, “Follow us okay?”

I slowly nodded my head.

I watched them bicker on the way, as I silently followed them.

Guilt filled me—I wanted him for myself. Why did he choose her? What’s so special about her anyway? Why not me? What’s wrong with me?

I sighed.

He was still my friend whom I could call and rely on. Someone close.

Yet, why does it feel like he’s so far away—unreachable and impossible to hold?

Like a star up in the sky—he’s so near yet so far.

Waking Dreams.

waking dreams, ripped at the seams
bittersweet and fragile, complacent - serene
fantasy without slumber
barely waking, trembling, shaking

dawn's faint kiss
no warmth, nor bliss
all-knowing, all-consuming
sanity depriving, coy and conniving.

thrill seekers, dream weavers, non believers
illiterate and mundane, uncertainly insane
wanting, daunting, taunting
these waking dreams, ripped at the seams.

christmas cake~

As she walked down the street, passing lights and signs spelling out 'Merry Christmas', she couldn't help but feel like something was missing, that someone was missing.

She sighed. She hated Christmas. She hated how bright it was. She hated obese men in red suits. She hated the cold weather that didn’t fail to brew during the season. She hated how it made her feel lonely. She hated how it made her feel incomplete.

Her pace increased, wanting to go back in the comforts of her little apartment, snuggling in her thick warm comforters wishing that Christmas will pass by in the speed of light. She bit her lip. She knew it was impossible—Christmases were usually long and draggy…and sad.

Suddenly to her surprise, she collided with a man in front of her, causing him to drop a box of cake that was packaged down the sidewalk.

He looked at the cake and then at her. When he did, she quickly apologized, as she bent down and tried to pick it up. But before she was able to, she felt warm hands grab her arm.

He smiled, “Don’t worry. It’s just a cake.”

“I’m sorry, I really am. I—“

“I insist.” He paused, “Besides, I don’t have anyone to eat it with.”

“What?”

He blinked, she tilted her head.

He smiled, she frowned.

“Since you owe me, you must accompany me.”

“Are you nuts?”

“The cake you just ruined is limited edition: Romanian truffle dark chocolate with Italian mint.”

“So?” Her voice weakened.

He laughed a merry laugh that warmed her heart a little.

“Let’s go.”

And somehow, without thinking and hesitation she followed.

-

-

-

A year has passed; she walked down the same street, passing lights and signs. She was missing something, someone, and because of this, she was searching through the sea of faces…

Then a pair of warm hands covered her sight as a smile painted in her face.

“Merry Christmas,” A familiar voice rang through her ears as she turned around, now fully seeing the very same person just in front of her.

He smiled as he raised a ribbon package in the air.

“Romanian truffle dark chocolate with Italian mint.” Both of them said in unison.

And thus, they shared the Christmas cake that brought them together.

-

*AUTHORS NOTE: A short sweet story for all of you to celebrate the Christmas season. It sounds rushed because it is~but I hope you like it. Merry Christmas everyone.